Undescribable

Today...

A boy cried..when I asked him why he was fighting in class.he is the monitor of the 4th class, good looking, playful, not performing very well in studies, toooo boyish (enjoys fighting,kicking,punching,poking,teasing and all), love to joke around and tease me using my big bright pink pencil box. Before this I used to shout when they fought in class (VERY LOUD i tell you). But today I decide not to shout. I talked to him personally, softly. Then he started crying. I WAS SPEECHLESS. He didn't answer any of my questions. Those teary eyes from one of the taiko in class. I was stunned for few seconds. Then I wiped his tears, calmed him down (because he was angry), and told him that it was okay to be angry but without kicking or punching or fighting. He went back to his seat and covered his face using his arms (like what we used to do when we sleep in class. I know everyone knows how HAHA). 

Well, I wonder what was in his mind. When he was crying in front of me. And when he was back to his seat. Underneath those arms. What was he thinking. 

He gave me an oat choco yesterday. Bukan bagi direct pun sebab egocentric tebal lagi dia ni. He showed me the oat choco and put it in my big bright pink pencil box. Just like that. 

And yesterday, he undirectly said that his favourite subject is English. 

Another boy, from my 1st class. School prefect, good looking, wealthy family background, performing very well in studies and sports, playful, a joker and attention seeker during my lesson ONLY according to his friends. I gave the kids a chance to have a look at their test papers and marks. Called them individually and showed their paper 2. This boy, I showed him the paper and the mistakes he made. And there was this face of disappointment that I rarely seen. It was a bitter smile. Seriously I didn't know how to react to that I kept repeating the same sentences to calm him down telling that his mark was okay. I was afraid he might cry anytime soon...but no. He didn't. 

Well, I was his homeroom teacher last year and this year I am teaching him and I think he (and few other boys) are having so much fun teasing me and acting like my little brothers all the timeeeee and yeah. This boy is one of the kids that were crazy about my chipsmore last time (if you read that post). FYI, he is performing well in English but he likes to pretend that he's not. He's the top scorer in asking-so-many-questions department. Just because...well I don't really know the reason. And just as note for the future (if this blog is still here in 10 years time), he is renting my pencil at the moment. It is my pencil but he wants to use it he pretend not to see me when he is writing. It's not that he can't afford that type of pencil. He can buy 10 of them if he wants! But I don't know. It's just a plain blue mechanical pencil that cost me RM5. 

He NEVER said anything nice to me. I mean...like the other kids do. Like 'miss ni best','miss baik','miss comel sangat saya suka miss' whatever whatever whatever. He's like ugh-i-dont-care. VEGHI EGO. 

I want to know his thoughts behind all his actions, very badly. 

I wonder why I am writing about these two boys now. I am supposed to sleep just now but ended up spending half an hour writing about these two. They made me think so much I can't sleep peacefully. Ugh. Stop thinking, brain. Go to the dreamland, now. 

I wish I have a sixth sense - the ability to read kids' minds. 

My April

Satu post sebulan, OK lah whatttt.

Assalamualaikum.

Sebelum Mei memunculkan diri, aku harus memanfaatkan bulan April yang tak akan kunjung tiba lagi. ewah ayat. Bukan apa, sebagai kenangan hari tua. Supaya nanti nanti kemudian hari aku boleh fefeeling syok sendiri baca blog peribadi berulang kali dan ketawa seorang diri. AHAHA.

April is the most hectic month for me so far. super tough, super challenging. berasa adventurous kerana banyak menguruskan pekerjaan yang memerlukan kemahiran multi-tasking level sepuluh. aku punya skill baru level tiga. jadi, bayangkan je lah cemana. benda due minggu depan, hari ni hari Khamis aku masih terkial-kial. dasar level tiga T_T.

aku semakin jarang bertemu adik-adik muridku (bukan anak-anak OK. iols is muda remaja kweng3x). budak-budak selalu tanya miss pergi mana miss pergi mana. kengkadang tak retilah nak jawab. sebabnya bila kita jawab nanti lagi banyak lagi banyak lagi banyak soalan pelik yang keluar. lepas tu mula lah nak stress sebab tak reti nak jawab soalan budak. lepas tu suruh budak diam. lepas tu rasa berdosa sebab suruh budak tu diam. tuudiaaa konflik jiwa paling kronik dalam dunia.

malas nak explain pepanjang. just so you know, kerja cikgu bukan mengajar sahaja. ibaratnya, kau gabung semua pekerjaan dalam dunia ni...itulah kerja cikgu. manakan nak melayan yang jatuh luka sebab berhambat dengan rakan, nak melayan yang merajuk rajuk sebab kawan taknak kawan (duhhh), nak hias kelas supaya persekitaran belajar menjadi kondusif, nak buat minit mesyuarat, nak buat surat, nak latih budak main bola bagi sekolah menang dan guru besar berbangga, et cetera et cetera.  

haaaa terpanjang pulak siap satu perenggan HAHAHAHA.

budak nak periksa lagi 2 minggu, budak nak pergi bertanding minggu depan, surat permohonan bantuan, keceriaan kelas, hari sukan yada yada yada. OK sekarang mana satu aku nak buat dulu ni. bebenda macam ni lah yang buat aku peninggggggg.

dah sampai tahap budak kelas aku ( Tahun 2 ) mengadu kenapa geng dia belum dapat alas meja sedangkan aku janji 2 minggu semua dapat alas meja. bulan Februari aku pasang alas meja untuk dua kumpulan je, lagi empat kumpulan meja gitu je lah hendaknya. aku cakap 2 MINGGU then semua orang punya meja jadi cantik.

tapi sekarang dah bulan April, meja 4 kumpulan masih kekal begitu hendaknya. alas meja 2 group yang aku pasang awal-awal dulu pulak dah siap mengoyakkan diri sendiri dah AHAHAHAHA.

nampak dah level multi-tasking aku kan? EPIC FAIL.

OK kena setelkan video sekarang. kemain bercita-cita tinggi nak masuk pertandingan bagi persembahan tergempak. doakan kejayaan weols OK.

by the way, I am officially off the market. teehee.

toodles!